Cicero’s Posse

My lack of blogging expertise prevents me from editing my profile to acknowledge my fellow contributors to Cicero’s Garage: Reverend Godfrey, The Unknown Poet and dear Uncle Ray.

Unfortunately, other circumstances also prevent me from elaborating, even here, on their whereabouts. I am able, however, to provide some information with regard to their occupations and interests.

The Reverend Doctor Theodore J. Godfrey

Occupation - clergyman

Interests – soteriology, sabermetrics

The Unknown Poet

Occupation - poet

Interests - mergers and acquisitions

Uncle Ray

Occupation - retired

Interests - meat and potatoes

The Confessions of Huckleberry Finnegan Part I

Dedicated followers of Cicero’s Garage will have noticed that while I bid adieu to the blogosphere some time ago, citing coercion by my employers, I have continued to tender the occasional entry with no explanation either for my reappearance or for my long absences between posts.

Having sought the counsel of my spiritual advisor, Reverend Godfrey, I would now like to set the record straight.

I lied.

The reason for my premature retirement and subsequent periods of inactivity is nothing so sinister as the threat of death or dismemberment. While my employers would certainly prefer that I have no contact with the outside world, they remain unaware, as do most people, of the existence of Cicero’s Garage.

The real reason is far more commonplace. Like so many bloggers before me, I merely lost interest.

So why, you may ask, am I making this confession? Is it because I intend to resurrect Cicero’s Garage and commit myself to daily updates? Not at all. My intention, dear reader(s), is simply to clear the air and restore whatever level of trust you may have once had in me – an anonymous employee of an unnamed government agency.

I swear, I never meant to hurt you.

What I Know

When I was still young enough to care about how smart I was relative to other people, I remember having difficulty fathoming the Socratic maxim “the more you know the less you know.” Amazing what a few years can do. My ignorance has become my greatest if not my sole certainty. I think, though not particularly well, therefore I am, I guess.

What I wasn’t prepared for by the philosophers or anyone else was the dullness of other people. After all those years spent thinking I was smart but not nearly smart enough, I discover that I’m not really that bright but I’m still about as bright as anybody else - a disillusioning but strangely comforting thought.

Now I’m not saying I’m Einstein or anything, but I’ll bet if I was just a little bit smarter, I’d be smart enough to say that Einstein wasn’t all that.

So I would like to tread for a moment with the great and the wise and dare to amend the old saw that so puzzled my younger self. Here at last is my long awaited (by me) contribution to the canons of human understanding.

“We’re all daft.”

-T.J. Godfrey

observation

Has anyone besides me ever noticed how the shadow of a parking meter bears an eerie resemblance to a silhouette of Mickey Mouse?

The Jealous Husband Theory

Call me paranoid but no one has ever explained to my satisfaction where Arthur Miller and Joe DiMaggio were on November 22nd, 1963.

Two Poems - No Waiting

The Competition


Behold the modern poetess
All rhyming words forsaking
Expounding on her sex life and
Her great grandmother’s baking


-The Unknown Poet


Reflection on Timing


I might’ve made a bigger splash
If I’d preceded Ogden Nash


-The Unknown Poet

Felt, W. Mark

If Deep Throat was indeed Mark Felt, then Woodward, Bernstein, Ben Bradley and Deep Throat himself were not, as has been commonly reported, the only people who knew the informant’s identity. The casting director of Warner Bros. All The President's Men was clearly in on the secret.

Mark Felt and Hal Holbrook may not be identical twins, but there is a strong resemblance. The same can be said for Carl Bernstein and Dustin Hoffman, as well as for Ben Bradley and Jason Robards. Bob Woodward and Robert Redford may be a bit of a stretch but if it’s 1976 and Robert Redford wants to be in your movie, you let him.

The Internet Movie Data Base (IMDB) lists Alan Shayne as the casting Director of All The Presidents Men. So far, Mr. Shayne has neither confirmed nor denied Mr. Felt’s extraordinary claim.